the reality of lawyering

Now that I'm a lawyer -- or, at least, have a law degree -- I feel like I should point out a few very common misconceptions about the field on whole:

1. Virtually without exception, every single element of the trial process, as depicted both on television and in film, is complete bullshit. For starters, virtually no cases even go to trial. The percentages vary by state, but on whole at least 98% of all criminal cases are decided by plea bargain. The discrepancy is biggest in California, where only one out of every 5,000 cases goes to trial (before either a judge or jury). Watching a show like "Suits" or "How to Get Away With Murder" absent any context, you'd never know that:
• The entire trial process -- for ANY trial -- take months, if not years. TV shows invariably skip the "boring stuff" like pretrial motions and hearings, voir dire (jury selection), and the endless series of delays that plague virtually every criminal court in America, at least in any city mid-sized or larger. For cases that do go to trial, it may literally be months before there's a time where the prosecutors, defense attorneys and judge all have a free slot on their respective schedules. (On TV, on the other hand, even a murder trial can be scheduled for the same week the defendant was arrested.)
• Acquittals are rare, mainly because no big DA's office has either the time or resources to prosecute a case they aren't practically guaranteed to win. It's a sad fact, but the American justice system as we know it would flat-out collapse if every defendant -- or even a significant percentage of them -- wanted a jury trial. We have neither the judges, courtrooms, or prosecutors available for such a concept.
• There are no 45-second closing arguments. Even speedy cases (1-2 days total) have closings at least 15 minutes long.
2. Aside from small towns, there are virtually no "generalists." On "Suits" Harvey Specter has worked on more varieties of cases than I can count, but in reality, lawyers have one or two specialties and almost never work outside of them.
3. Most lawyers spend their entire careers without ever entering a courtroom. Maybe 10% of them are litigators.
4. It's extremely common among lawyers for friends and family to pepper them with legal questions. Guess what? Unless they're borderline-genius level in terms of retaining knowledge -- I'd put my mom in this category, but few others -- ALL of them forget the vast majority of what they learned either in law school or while studying for the bar. Point being, if you ask an oil & gas lawyer about something related to family law, he will likely not have the slightest clue how to answer.
5. "Surprise witnesses" are a television and cinematic staple, but in reality both sides have the complete witness list months before trial (and most witnesses have been disposed long before trial. Further, the sudden appearance of a new, last-minute witnesses practically guarantees the verdict will be successfully appealed, and more often or not the appellate court will reverse and demand (a.k.a. reject the verdict and require a new trial).
6. Finally, most lawyers aren't rich -- quite the opposite, actually. Aside from the elite "BigLaw" attorneys who manage to make partner after toiling away 14 hours a day for close to a decade, few lawyers make much beyond the high-five/low-six-figure range. (NB: The wealthiest lawyers these days are personal injury lawyers, by a pretty wide margin. The best of them make far more than any BigLaw attorney, even the most senior partners.)

That's all I can think of now, but I'll add additional myths/falsehoods if I come up with any.